Prayer, being the abysmal
Lord, I am a civilization, with all the opposites and togethers I can bind I
Have to hold my own lungs shut to keep from becoming
This place you have commissioned me for.
I have been to a lake and an ocean and a funeral
And nowhere is solace
And nowhere will the ghost be dropped off, leave me alone
I have grown to hate the way
I feel like I’ll never sleep again
And o I wish I was higher
I think I am the love of your life
The way god was your father’s.
Believe me blindly, the way you would him:
Up there is empty
Hallowed be the crime of my existence
And what have I learned but
The human bird will never not wail
I wear your stained skin again and again
I heat with guilt
At night I cocoon myself beneath the blankets and
Hurt for weight atop me.
I resent being made.
All of it
All of it.