When We Were Children We Believed the Night Herons Moving Across the Marsh Were Versions of Ourselves

We raised ourselves

over the starboard side, our shoes soaked

from crossing beds of eelgrass.

One girl’s face was broad with scars

 

like threaded silk. We took turns

smelling her hair and touching her eyelids,

and when she asked, we carved our initials

into the boat’s innards and pressed blades into our palms,

 

pressing blood to blood. We understood

violation from behind the pizzeria. The boys watched

the men take us up the hill

and everyone knew

 

what the bark of a bay tree felt like

against the side of a face. The broad-faced girl

would be the first to be raped.

But that night,

 

she sung to us

from a book called the Coloniality of Birds.

In our mouths the song

left the boat and turned to fog.

 

The night herons left their nests

before they could fly. They crept

through the estuary pulling

their feet in and out of the mud.

 

We listened to the sound of bird feet

circling the boat. The cattails parted

to take the herons in, the cattails intent

was to obscure them.

 

Their cries sounded like a rattling, a choking.


Also by Kelly Gray