let’s retire together. watch the
sun sink from our homes lined up
in this suburban american way
that we used to scorn as our hearts
sink in our chests. we’ll listen to
marium’s music (meticulously tuned
guitar and some wrenchingly
teenage lyrics, new love under
ancient indigo skies, ‘new and
ancient are interchangeable here,’
a look bleeding over the shoulder)
fall in love over and hate over hate
and over love again under new
indigo skies, listen to gwen philosophize
over the dao (worn book at least
sixty years old drenched in decades
of midnight flashlight, baptized
monthly with tea and coffee and
every drink we weren’t there to
drink with you), let things take their
natural course. let the sun sink. let
your tits sag, the skin around your
cheeks loosen, the joints in your
hands tighten. let the adolescent
sex drive melt like old silverware
to be repurposed into that cosmic
acceptance that retirement homes
boast unwittingly, with their pictures
of sunlight condensed into beams,
dissolving onto the surface of a
green lake by the golf course,
those uncanny pristine fields that
speak of creation at the intersection
of apocalyptic divine nascence
and the blueprint of human trash—
pictures that induce the sound of
bach’s cello fugues by visual cue.
we’ll listen to gabriel’s ramblings
about the universe and think about
our quantum superpositions among
all these superclusters (‘stupid
super-determinists,’ the wave of a
hand commanding the sinking sun,
‘how could you think everything is
fated when we’re only made of
indecisive dust?’ at the cross
section of particle and wave, dusk
and dawn, the microscopic
annihilations happening all at
once everywhere between positive
and negative, we knew we could
use the most of it) and god fuck it
let’s retire together. because i’ll
love you in that way we didn’t
know how to name when we first
learned how to drive and compared
the driving tests of our regions
together and i’ll love you in the only
way that was the only thing we knew
and perhaps the only thing we know
and it’s a crime to only know how
to love in a world that pushes itself
further and further into supernova
each day and fuck it let’s just fucking
retire together so in the end we’ll
have someone to watch the end
credits with